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Your Health, Your Way: How to Advocate for Yourself at Doctor’s Visits

Even the most confident, capable adults can feel overwhelmed at the doctor’s office. Appointments can feel rushed, filled with unfamiliar terms, and leave you wondering if your concerns were truly heard. Being an active participant in your healthcare—especially as you get older—is crucial in getting the care you deserve.

Speaking up, asking questions, and preparing ahead can lead to better care, clearer communication, and greater peace of mind. Advocating for yourself—before, during, and after a doctor’s appointment—means that your voice, your needs, and your health stay at the center of the conversation.

Before the appointment

A little planning can go a long way in ensuring that you get the most out of your visit, and making sure your doctor gets a clear picture of your health.

• Track your health in a journal. The Mayo Clinic suggests keeping track of your symptoms, changes in how you feel, new medications and any reactions to them, or treatments you’ve tried. Health journals can help you spot patterns and explain your concerns clearly.
• Do a little research, but take it with a grain of salt. Looking up your symptoms online can help you form more informed questions for your doctor visit. Although doctors interviewed by Time magazine recommended doing some research, it’s important not to let the internet cause unnecessary worry. Think of this research as a starting point for understanding your symptoms and then talking with your doctor.
• Write down your questions and concerns. Create a list of what you want to discuss. Organize your concerns from greatest to least to ensure that your top priorities for the visit are met. If your list is long, prioritize the top three during the appointment. If your provider uses a patient portal, consider sending your list ahead of time. You may want to include:
  • New or changing symptoms.
  • Any medication side effects .
  • Questions about treatments or diagnoses.
  • Notes from other doctors or specialists.

During the appointment

You don’t have to go it alone—and you don’t need to have all the answers. The most important thing is to make sure your questions are heard and your concerns are addressed. You can also bring helpful resources with you. One great option is the Speak Up™ guide from The Joint Commission, which includes tips on asking questions, understanding your rights as a patient, and being an active partner in your care.

• Open the conversation with your concerns. Begin by telling your doctor what you want to focus on and set the agenda for the visit. You might say something like: “Thank you for seeing me today. I know appointments go by quickly, but I’ve had a few changes I’d like to talk about. I’ve also made a list so we don’t miss anything.”
• Ask questions, especially if things aren’t clear. Never hesitate to ask your healthcare professionals to explain something in plain language. It’s important that you understand your health needs. Refer back to your list to keep the conversation focused and make sure you leave with the information you need. You can ask things such as:
  • “Can you explain that in another way?”
  • “What does that mean for me day to day?”
  • “Are there other treatment options I should know about?”
  • “Is this test (or medication) necessary, or are there alternatives?”
• Bring someone if needed. If you are having difficulty advocating for yourself, bring a trusted family member or friend to advocate on your behalf. This person can help take notes, ask follow-up questions, and make sure nothing gets missed. A study published by the American Geriatrics Society found that patients who brought an advocate to medical appointments often received more thorough care and had better health outcomes. Just make sure they are up to date on your wishes.

After the appointment

Advocating for your health doesn’t end when the appointment is over, especially if you are unsure of how you’re feeling, how the conversation went, or what the doctor said. Don’t be afraid to:

• Get a second opinion.
• Evaluate your relationship with your provider.
• Find a new provider if necessary.

Your relationship with your provider is important. If you don’t feel heard or respected, it can be very hard to advocate for yourself. You deserve a provider who listens, explains things clearly, and treats you like a partner in your care. A strong doctor-patient relationship is built on mutual respect—and it’s okay to look for that if it’s missing.

A note about ageism in a healthcare setting

Unfortunately, age-related bias is still a reality in many healthcare settings. In fact, 1 in 5 adults over 50 reports experiencing some form of age discrimination when seeking medical care.
If you ever feel dismissed, rushed, or not taken seriously because of your age, know that it’s not something you have to tolerate. You can:

• Ask to speak with a patient advocate at the clinic or hospital.
• File a complaint with the Administration for Community Living.
• Use tools like ProPublica’s Patient Harm Reporting Tool.

You have the right to be treated with dignity and respect—at every age.